"the last time i hung up on you it was february,
a year ago. i was tired and you were angry, and
now i guess i’m calling to ask how you’ve been since.
scratch that, that’s a lie, i’m calling to tell you
i think i might be sorry that it ended like it did,
except that doesn’t really sound like an apology.
okay, here’s the thing, i’m actually calling because
i think i’m falling for a girl i don’t even know
and you used to be good at my love life,
and i hoped you could tell me if this is even me
because you used to seem to know me too.
if you don’t already know, i’m sort of drunk,
and i’ve been writing down all the things i think
that i feel sorry for, and i wanted to tell you
until i realized i don’t have your number anymore.
okay, no, actually, i still know it by heart
but i wanted to ask you how long
it took you to delete mine from your phone,
and for how long you remembered it after that.
i didn’t think you would. you were always good
at forgetting the things you didn’t want to see.
i’m not calling because i miss you.
i’m not calling because i want you back,
and i know i don’t love you anymore.
i chose to walk away, but that doesn’t mean
it was ever easy. it doesn’t mean it was the way
i wanted it to be. i wish that it did.
i wish that it had been simple,
ordinary like water flowing from a tap,
a silver balloon floating into a blue sky.
i just want to tell you i cared.
i just want to tell you i had to stop loving you
because the voice in my head started sounding
like you. i had to stop loving you because it wasn’t
good, and we didn’t work anymore, and i was too tired
to fix anyone but myself.
i want to tell you i’m sorry that you couldn’t see that.
i’m sorry that i had to be the one to show you.
add this to the list of things for which i should apologize.
i really shouldn’t have called you."
— rabia kazmi, “regret-shaped voicemail” (via mrsfscottfitzgerald)
(Source: nightcapades, via mrsfscottfitzgerald)
"I read once that the ancient Egyptians had fifty words for sand and the Eskimos had a hundred words for snow. I wish I had a thousand words for love, but all that comes to mind is the way you move against me while you sleep and there are no words for that."
— Brian Andreas, Story People (via rabbitinthemoon)
I’m not going to be the girl you marry.
I’ll be the memory you have when you propose to her. As you slide that ring on her finger you’ll think about that time we got dressed in our swankiest threads and had a horrible time at that party so we came back home and sat in an empty bath tub drinking whiskey outta the bottle talking about our childhood dreams.
I’m not going to be the girl you marry. I’ll be that memory whenever you and her get in an argument. you’ll recall our first fight and the endless glares and icy tones. Repetition of words like RESPECT and WHY rung through the stillness of the air. We almost ended that night. Thankfully you stopped me from walking out of that door.
I’m not going to be the girl you marry. I’ll be that memory when you have your first child. When you and your wife are picking out names you’ll remember our talk about our future. Our apartment layout and first pet. A dog named Pascal because I’m allergic to cats.
I’m not going to be the girl you marry. I’ll be the girl you fall for when you are too young to understand what falling really is. You’ll fuck up and lose me. You won’t realize it until a while later. But when you do, you’ll think about me everyday. Forever.
— You’ll Miss Me - jlw (via dolomalo)
(Source: burgundythoughts, via dolomalo)
"If there is a God, He will have to beg my forgiveness."
— A phrase that was carved on the walls of a concentration camp cell during WWII by a Jewish prisoner (via xstayfocused)
(Source: notclarissa, via eat-sleep-potter)
"Does he treat you with respect at all times? That’s the first question. The second question is, if he is the exact same person twenty years from now that he is today, would you still want to marry him? And finally, does he inspire to be a better person? You find someone you can answer yes to all three, then you’ve found a good man."
— Colleen Hoover (via h-o-r-n-g-r-y)
(Source: simply-quotes, via h-o-r-n-g-r-y)
"Love is keeping the promise anyway."
— The Fault in Our Stars (via dolomalo)
(Source: kanyebestcoast, via dolomalo)
do you ever get so disgusted with yourself, like you can not believe how stupid and thoughtless you are and it’s so frustrating because you keep telling yourself that you’ll do better next time but then next time rolls around and the same thing keeps happening and you end up in this pattern of mediocrity.
(Source: clavacles, via eat-sleep-potter)
"And you find out that people are very nice and that they care about you even if the person you care about most doesn’t."
— Alexa Chung (via adark-enigma)